Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize