So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
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