when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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