She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
