doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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