i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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