hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize