The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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