just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
