So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Boobs are out for the taking
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
