It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
