Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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