He disabled his match.com account in front of me
kristin has been a bad kristin
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
