I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Found the puke drawer
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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