the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
