I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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