Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
