your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
