im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
