I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Randomize