It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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