32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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