what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
You smell like stripper and shame
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
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