How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Randomize
