what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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