I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
