I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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