i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
