Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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