Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Randomize