I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
