Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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