im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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