just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
