sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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