we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
