How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize