I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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