What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
