A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
