He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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