I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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