I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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