like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Randomize
