I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
