i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
