U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Randomize
