Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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