Dude my mom stole all your condoms
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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