you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
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