I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
