ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I love you. Go after that dick
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
