I need help removing her.
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
