Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
