thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
