i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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