Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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