I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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