she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
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