My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
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