Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
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