Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
