He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
