Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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