with your own penis?
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
