I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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