are you still at the devil's house?
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
