Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
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