But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
